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my disco bloodbath.
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Date:2004-12-13 00:51

This is a DEAD  journal.


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Date:2004-12-05 12:20
Subject:robbery suspect
Mood: cheerful

What do you get with three asians, one 76% asian, one other who hates GANI's and a car full of boys who had better legs and butts than those they followed( my lil' metrosexuals! haaaa).... ROAD TRIIPPP!
I couldn't ask for more amazing people in my life. <3

Friday: CVS and Bank of America got robbed near my house. And I was a suspect but no one could find me because I was stuck in traffic for about an hour. I had to make a quick choice. I called Melissa,Jessica, Lucee and Sharon and told them we had to make a run for it. We had to go to Utah in order to escape the cops. So we met up with everyone at In n out. Where Dan, Ivan, Justin, and Nate showed their support and came with us for their involvement of the act. I went 105 mph and get there in no time with a minor set back of going around this weird round a bout 3 times. And fact that TJ's dad was a cop. I played it sneaky and found out that Utah was Amazing. After we went to CLUB ED. I could go on ranting about how amazing every band was because yes, they simply were amazing. And I could start with how Cedar Drive really blew me away and how Alegionsplague is always amazing and how much I love their guitarist. I could do that but I wont. I would also might go on about how I love Bleeding Kansas and how I love each one of those boys. And how my twin Eddie is magnificent! But I wouldn't want to bore you. I could say that I love the boys from HORSE. And it is sad not to see Andy a part of them anymore. And that Eric really misses his best friend. But like I said,  I won't even say it. And I could say that even if they just played two songs, it was still greaaat and worth all the wait. But I don't think I will mention any of that to bore you.  But I will mention that cops ruin shows and Cub Ed is no more. I will also say that I made up my mind on who I would want to die if I had to pick one in the car, but like I said, I won't mention Jessica's name anywhere. haaa. I loved friday. I haven't had one of those nights in a veryy long time. It was simply nice. After everyone left, my phone died and I had my snack bars in Melissa's car. Chase bought me del taco and tried to watch Shakespear in love before we went to sleep. I don't think we got to watch too much of the movie.. but laying with him and being with him.. I don't know what else could be better than that. I have an amazing boyfriend.

This weekend was perfect. I got home late from Utah. Watched Alexander ( too long of a movie.tsk) and had dinner at Macaroni Grill. This morning woke up in his arms once more and then ate chocolate chip pancakes. Ah, what a wonderful life.

Happy Birthday DAVID.
Melissa loves you. haaa

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Date:2004-11-28 21:05
Subject:umm is this a joke??????
Mood: ecstatic

Nine Inch Nails
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Boards of Canada
Franz Ferdinand
Layo & Bushwacka
Deep Dish
on! air! library
The Postal Service
Death in Vegas
Murder by Death
The Faint
Bloc Party
Minus the Bear
Do Make Say Think
Scissor Sisters
T. Raumschmiere
Dandy Warhols
Built to Spill
Royal Flush
Cannibal Ox
Raveing Lunatics
Hot Water Music
The Walkmen
TV on the Radio

April 24, Sunday

New Order
A Perfect Circle
Pressure Drop
Paul Van Dyk
Modest Mouse
PJ Harvey
The Roots
The Hives
String Cheese Incident
Del tha Funkee Homosapien
The Killers
Daft Punk
Sigur Ros
Yo La Tengo
DJ Food
The Orb
Bright Eyes
British Sea Power
The Network
The Street
The Outlaws
Southern Culture on the Skids
These arms are Snakes
The Notwist
Burning Star
Danger Mouse

I haven't felt like this in such a long time.

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Date:2004-11-28 10:21
Subject:class of 2004
Mood: amused

My high school friends remind me all the good memories I made through those four years in that school. I truly had the high school experience and I am glad that's it over but sad all at the same time. I knew great people and they became to be even greater people after high school. It sucks that you will lose touch with them but it's so easy to pick up from it even after a couple months after. In no time, people grow up, people change, and weirdly, they're still the same person you knew. I can't forget how many friday nights we all spent together...all the memories. Time goes by way fast. Life too short not do anything in life. I want to do something special in my life. I just don't want a routine life like everyone. I want to really live my life to the fullest. So we had the first girl out of our class marry yesterday at 2:30 p.m... This is just the beginning for all of us. Growing up is such an awkward thing to do.

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Date:2004-11-27 00:54
Subject:i miss him.
Mood:missing someone special

More than 24 hours has passed... and I miss him like crazy.
And I'm wondering if he misses me too..I'm keeping my heart crossed that he misses me so much right now....I'm hoping that not a second went by that he didn't think about me today..
I know not one minute went by without him on my mind.
I want to take this 2-day thing back...I want to give up already. But I won't. Not tonight...
And I have so many awesome friends who helped me out again tonight..
I wish I knew what he was doing ..I want him to come home so he can tell me absolutely everything about California...I want to know every detail..I want to hear his voice...or maybe I just want him..

The day is finally over. I thought it would never be. This was my first experience in retail for how this whole holiday shopping season is like. And I felt a little overwhelmed but it was actually fun to stay busy for 7.5 hours. The mall was full of spirit and probably by the end of the night...they knew the true feelings of being broke. I knew I did. I went shoping and pent like crazy...I hit Hollister and American Eagle and Fahion....Uh oh..the outcome was bags and bags of clothes with a small intermission of in n out. Then after Urban Outfitters. It was a good night. After that, I treated myself to Walmart because I wanted to buy candles. I ended up getting Coldplay and Ben Folds Five too. And Ice cream. haha. But thanks to Melissa, COurtney, Ivan, Cami and Nate..tonight was amazing. <3 I got the coolest rug at urban today. And having Jessica back in my life everyday is making me feel a lot more complete. I love my friends...I really do :)oh and Aimster, I'm sorry you're getting sick...I hope you feel better. <333

Tomorrow is the big day for two special people. And I can't wait for the party tomorrow night! haha. Celebration! Congrats Eric and Julie <3333 I love you both..I;m looking forward at the after celebration party tomorrow. I'll probably go home when everyone is crunked though. But all the familiar faces I'll see excites me. My old best friends put into one room. haha. what more can I ask for? Julie, you've grown up so much. You will look absolutely beautiful tomorrow.

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Date:2004-11-25 14:14
Subject:Counting my blessinngs
Mood: hopeful

I have a goals I am going to accomplish today.
-I am not going to cry.
-I am not going to care if I get fat after today.
-I am going to devote my time to my homework.
-I am going to try to focus.
-I am going to clean my room.
-I am visiting my grandpa at the cemetery.
-I am not going to attach my phone to my hip.

Last night, left alot of things unclear to me. I just don't understand alot. And for the first time I think I just realized everything is going to be fine and I just gotta let God handle the rest. And things will work its own way out. I thought after last night's decision I will be content. I am still confused.  But I can tell that things are going to change. I have no idea which direction anything will go anymore. I don't know what to expect. But I think I found some peace of mind. I know what I want but not what you want is always what you need. I don't need him. I want him. I am in love with him. And he is an AMAZING BOYFRIEND. It feels so good to say he's my boyrfriend. My heart belongs to him. Thanksgiving day is turning out better than I thought.

So the last couple days living has been the worst. But its got me to realize I've really got amazing friends. I know now who I can count on or are willing to give a lending ear when I needed it the most. I've never needed my friends as much as I did in the last couple days and I cant be anymore greatful enough. Today is Thanksgiving. And I have a lot of thanks to be giving to so many of you. I am so thankful for so many things that I take for granted everyday. Today, I am going to sit down and actually think this through. I am thankful for life. It's not perfect. Nothing is and I accept it.

I'm keeping my head up. Nothing stands on my way now.

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Date:2004-11-24 11:56
Subject:high school was so last year
Mood: depressed

I have new live journal. I've had one for awhile. I just have no idea when to start it or what to write in it just yet. It feels so clean. You guys can add it still though.
she_is_glamour Right now, it's just static.
Yesterday, wasn't such a bad day. I was living in polar opposites. I was happy one minute and sad the next, But overall, I was surrounded with so many amazing people that I actually was more happy than anythiing. It's when you're alone it's worst. Or just laying there doing nothing. But I haven't allowed myself to do just nothing. I'm keeping myself busy and that is good. Waking up alone though and just waiting for nothing is worst than anything.
Well,I'lll post pictures of last night a little later.... It was a high school reunion. Weird how much people grow up but still things feel the same. People really never change..but they do. It's a contradicting concept.

I miss him so much. We are celebrating our 6 month anniversary tonight. I can't wait to see him. I love him so much. //sigh//
He's my favorite boy in this world. That will never change. I'm counting down the minutes til he's with me

I don't feel so good these days. I don't really know what to do. .

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Date:2004-11-23 15:40
Subject:happy anniversary chase covington

6 months and 1 day ago= INCOMPLETE with HOPE
6 months ago exactly= COMPLETEly in LOVE

</3 this song says so much. Looking in your eyes Praising every moment because you're my only light Reading through stares at your passion that bears me now Shedding no little tears The silence scares us more than leaving could Come back Please don't leave me now I'll be all that you need in life Because I can't live without you and I know all that you need I can give you everything When you're so far you'll forget about me Waiting by your side Knowing every moment is closer to your flight Upset with the past, but it's all that holds us now Believing no lies, telling each other we'll be fine forever But I'll wait I could never leave those beautiful eyes I know you're sorry I know what you must be going through And I feel sorry for you But please don't leave me now

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Date:2004-11-22 13:20
Subject:nothing perfect lasts

I just realized how big this world is.
And how small I am compared to it.
I've never felt this small in my entire life.

This hurts so bad. My heart has never felt this way before. I laid there in his arms all night watching him sleep. I woke up this morning not really knowing if I actually slept. I cried and cried while he held me. It felt soo good to have him there for me. How could I miss someone so much when he's right there? In my disbelief, it's very possible. I don't know what to do right now. I'm so scared. No, I'm terrified. I love him so much. It's incredible how one girl can love a boy this much. I can't stop crying. Driving home was a drag. Time to register for new classes for the next semester. Time has gone by so fast.

6 month anniversary with Chase tomorrow. </3
Im broken.


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Date:2004-11-18 08:40

Dammit. I procrastinated this long and now I just looked at all the due dates for all my research papers and projects.

 I'm totally screwed.


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Date:2004-11-16 01:06
Subject:put it in a cup and say its sauce


I can't wait until tomorrow....

This week started off pretty good. Minus the fact that I almost had a heart attack due to almost hitting a boy on a bike with his 4 yr old brother. Yeah, besides that Everything is good. Last night, watching Mr. Bean, making fun of celebrities and the cartoon network with Amy and Melissa pretty much sparked my week for the better. Tomorrow with the show, Chase is coming down.My life feels almost complete (but just not quite yet). I wish he could spend the night with me but he has to go home for work the next day :(. I can't wait to see him. I miss him so much. I hate that I can't see him everyday or as much as I want to. It hurts me so much. I just want to be with him always. For now, that isn't possible. But one day.... It will, I hope.,,
I dream of a future with him... I dream so many things...
And Finally, after my mom's 1 month business trip she will be home. I can't wait to see her either. I miss the sound of her voice from downstairs yelling my name and telling me something and I can't understand a damn thing. Why do parents do that? I miss that though. It's hard when you don't have it. I love my mom. Then me and my sister are going to Ryan Cabrera together on Wednesday. I love hanging out with her. Last saturday, me and her spent the whole day together. We had a dinner and a movie date. She is so awesome. I miss being young with her. I really do. I know I'm not that old, but I miss being young. I miss those days. I miss so many things.......so many people...so many memories.. ://sigh//

I am off to outerspace where we can dwell together in the stars..
Good night everyone. Seasons greetings.

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Date:2004-11-14 02:56

I am confused.

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Date:2004-11-11 13:10
Subject:Choose the right
Mood:clean freak

Do you ever find old little memories lying around your room when you're cleaning it out. And when you find them..you play with them or try it on???(taking more time that you don't have)
Well, as of right now I am throwing everything away and I'm wearing my white little dress I wore for Easter in 8th grade. So picture this...I'm wearing a little white dress from 8th grade and cleaning my room. And this time, I really do look like I'm 12. Hmmm.
I don't know why I do all these random things when I should be writing a research paper and some of my term papers due soon. I procrastinate toooooo much.

Well, RSVP right now if youre coming over tonight.

Heyy...look in the background.....CTR!?! wooooo.
Yes, I have Mormon Pride. <3
And this mormon is watching the OC tonight with some of my favorite people.

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Date:2004-11-10 13:07
Subject:my future
Mood: contemplative

In repetition, I ponder about what I want to do with my life. I don't really have to make life-altaring decisions right now. But really, I was thinking about this, and yet I am in college and still with no clue. I know some people have more years ahead of me and still don't know what to do with theirselves either, but then I meet the occasionally few that fill my insecurity of my future a bit more inadequate than now, when they're just 16 and have their life planned ahead of them. Let's take my sister for example, she's this perfect child. She knows where she is heading and she knows her direction. I've got only one direction....and that is to live in Alaska with Chase in 50 years or so. (Also note, in Alaska you are paid $2000-3000 a year from the government because of the oil distribution!Per person in each household! get rich quick scheme..here I come! haha) (jfkjsfrjasoirj!)...That's all I really know so far, I'm not really worrying much. But it's come to my concerns lately, especially with one of my best friends getting married in a couple weeks and most of my friends have left this state to pursue their goals. I'm still here. Not complaining at all.. But yet I have no clue what I am going to do. I am happy though with life right now. I miss some people out there...I wish I could talk to more. I got work in a few...I'm out.

Ps. I get Troy and Ivan all tomorrow at my house! yayy if anyone wants to comeover to have an OC session...come right ahead..You're all invited.

Chase: I love you.

This is one of the most asian pics i've taken.

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Date:2004-11-09 17:58
Subject:to the new bride
Mood: anxious

People change. I've changed and so have you. And I think it is wonderful!! Growing up isn't always fun but it's also one of the most amazing aspects that we are blessed with to do.

I do miss the times when I was always there for you and you were there for me. When we'd sit there and just laugh for hours and not even know where the time went...I miss the times the moment I got home from school and my phone would ring after just entering the door...and knowing it was you. It felt good to have someone there for me, thinking of me all the time as I did for them. I can't imagine where I would be without the impact you've had on my life...even though time may disarray our vision to remembering our memories... I do remember. You are an amazing girl.

I can't be anymore happy for you to tell you that you found what you've been looking for. I can remember when you and I would sit there and wonder if we were find someone as compatible to you as we were for each other....it seemed impossible. Really, what boy can measure up to us. Funny, that we both got so lucky. You deserve it.. Congratulations on the Wedding. I am very happy for you. And all my best regards are on you.

You've got a lot of life to look forward...And when we get old...I hope I will be close by you. living by the lake. <3
Best friends forever yea yea yea!

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Date:2004-11-05 22:45
Subject:money.sucess.fame. glamour.
Mood: apathetic

I want to start a new journal. New journals call for a fresh start.
When? I just don't know yet? When I think of a name.... a new creation will come.
ideas anyone?

Worst night tonight ever.
I AM SICK. and I didn't get home from work til 10!
Five boxes of shipment at work came in at 7:00. And that was death! :(
I miss Chase already. His wave goodbyes never complete me until I see his face again.
I overate on chocolate. I do that when I'm stressed. Sugar is a NO NO!

What made my day: Seeing Melissa at work for a second.
Amy and me dancing like robots!
Waking up to Chase this morning in my bed.

I've got a lot to do.
And I shouldn't be online...rather I should be doing more productive things.

I'm going to see The Incredibles tomorrow. <3 WEll, I want to.
I need to get my act together...........

"party's over..and you can't walk around here naked anymore.."-party monster

PS I got some tracks from the unreleased LP of bright eyes due this Jan 2005. It's awesome!weee

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Date:2004-11-04 12:31
Subject:fallopian tubes.
Mood: sick

The internet is a propaganda! Yay or Nay?
I am soo terribly sick, but I am still going to be at the show tonight. Of course, I want to see Ed Gein.
And Plus, Chase is all mine this weekend. <3
Oh, and also...It's funny because I don't think anyone went to go see Curl up and Die last Friday!
I can't believe you Vegas people. Can't even support one of the most amazing bands....tsk tsk. <3 JP
but I'm ditching school right now because I could hardly see straight let alone pay attention.
In result..I have new pics.
PS. (a couple of side notes!)
*Congrats to Melissa on her license and new job!</3 I love you best friend.
*Eddie and Bleeding Kansas is in town, ladies! they want to hang out! (esp. taryn,heather and mel!)
*I like the weather.
*Amy is awesome! (once again!) my shout to you..if u read this!<3
*Party MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!
*Death Cab was absolutely AMAZING!

i'M sOoO lYke nErD lyKe wHoA!


VAGitaranian!<3  Collapse )

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Date:2004-11-03 23:15
Subject:truth has spoken.

Congratualtions, President Bush. You have been re-elected back into office for another four years.
You made an amazing speech this morning. And I am more than happy that Nevada pulled through .
I would also want to congratulate you for making an American historical record.. you have made history by being the president with the most popular votes. The people have spoken. I just hope that many of you who do not support our president now just need to understand that we all most come together in unity. He is not just my president, but yours too.
Don't try to make this a war between the people. Everyone is under the same leader and under the same government.
And that is to lead us in the same future....
All my regards to all of you.


Date:2004-11-02 13:30
Subject:election 2004.vote or die mother effer. (haha chase!)


Today is a big day for the future of America.
Election Day.
As the future of this country all those that are legal and registered should take initiative and vote!
Whoever is the next president will all depend on the next four years of this country.
I am very curious, tell me who you are voting for or if you're not of age, who you are supporting!


if you have any reasons please share your opinion.


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Date:2004-10-27 14:07


this face describes absolutely everything right now.


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